


there's a starman waiting in the sky

by casshole



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, No Smut, Reunions, lots of dumbledore slander, remadora never happened, sorry teddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 04:40:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30083607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casshole/pseuds/casshole
Summary: Remus discovers that not even death can separate you from the ones you love.I do not support JKR and her bigoted and transphobic views. Gross.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	there's a starman waiting in the sky

**Author's Note:**

> I mention it in the tags, but Remadora never happened in context to this fic. It really makes me uncomfortable, and is just homophobic in general considering the were both queercoded. 
> 
> This work was meant to be a couple thousand words, but I obviously got a bit carried away.
> 
> Check the end notes for songs I listened to while writing this!!

Remus woke up to the sound of the train whistle. Although he wasn’t sure “waking up” was the correct term to describe dying and coming too in a place that was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He was definitely on Platform 9 ¾ , or at least a very convincing replica of it. There was no one else there. The real platform was always bustling with activity. Here there was only quiet. It should have made him feel uneasy, but instead he was overwhelmed with a sense of absolute contentment that he, after the life he had led, had never thought possible.

Someone tapped on his shoulder behind him, and their hand stayed in the same place it had touched. He didn’t know how, but he already knew who it was before he saw. Slowly, he turned around, praying that his prediction was true. 

“Mum?” It came out as a shaky breath, and it took everything Remus had in him to not fall apart right there and collapse into her arms. 

“Cariad,” Hope said, reaching up to cup his face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs against his cheek. A comforting gesture he had been without for so long, and now that he had it again he was not sure how he had bore it in the first place. She didn’t look the way she had towards the end of her life. That had been the only way he could remember her after she had died. Sick and frail, the light slowly leaving her eyes, a cruel countdown to her ultimate death. Now the color had returned to her face, and oh god she was smiling again. Remus had never known someone with such a genuine smile. And there were so very few people that had ever looked at him with such adoration. 

“My darling boy I have missed you so much,” Hope continued. That was all it took for Remus to reach down to hug her. He was gentle at first, but then he remembered that she wasn’t sick anymore. No she wasn’t fragile, she appeared to be the strong woman who had raised him. He hugged her tighter, the way he would when he was a boy after a transformation; like it could hold him together.

“This is it?” Remus said softly, and he did not know whether to be relieved or terrified. “It’s the end.”

“Of course not, love,” Hope shook her head. “Didn’t I always tell you death was never the end.”She had. Right before she died. Remus, always the cynic, had not believed her, but hadn’t had the heart to tell her so. Apparently she had been right. He should have known. She was always right. 

“Where’s da?” Remus asked, feeling a bit guilty that he only just noticed he was missing.

“He wasn’t sure if you’d want him here,” Hope explained, her face falling a bit. “Not after everything that had happened. Remus didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded. Things had never been great between the two of them. Lyall Lupin had blamed himself for his son’s lycanthropy. While Hope had loved her child wholly and unconditionally, Lyall had only been able to love him his lycanthropy. Young Remus had never been able to quite come to terms with the fact that his father had not seemed capable of loving every part of him. After Hope had died, Remus had gotten the impression that his father blamed him. Thought that Remus had brought too much stress to her life. Maybe it wasn’t fair for Remus to assume that was how his father had felt, although at the time it had seemed like there was no other explanation for the sudden distance that had grown between them. But neither of them had ever really been fair to each other.

Hope seemed to sense that Remus had become lost in his own head; overthinking to the point of despair as he often did. So she smiled, and it was the guiding light that Remus needed.

“This reminds me of the first time we came here,” Hope reminisced. “Do you remember?”

“Of course I do,” Remus chuckled. Both of them had been in awe of the world around them. It was the first time either of them had experienced anything like it. Lyall had shielded them both from most of the wizarding world up until that point. It had only been two days after a particular dreadful full moon. He had been in so much pain, he had told her that he had changed his mind. He did not want to go, he didn’t think he would be able to handle the moons without her. Remus had got down on his knees and cried and begged her to take him home. She hadn’t made him feel bad for his breakdown. All she did was kneel down so that she was on his level, and told her how brave she thought he was. There was no way she could have known. She barely understood what Hogwarts houses were, let alone what each represented. But as Remus had made his way to the front of the Great Hall that night he had repeated the words _“I am brave”_ over and over in his head. Then the Sorting Hat had put him in Gryffindor. 

“I always knew how special you were. And it was not just because I was your mother and I was biased,” She joked. “My son the hero.” At this, Remus blushed. It had been a long time since someone had gushed over him.

The train whistle blew again, and Hope stepped away. Remus wanted to object, after all this time he did not want to be far apart from her if he didn’t have to. 

“That’s your cue,” Hope told him, cocking her head towards the train.

“I don’t want to leave you,” Remus protested.

“Oh don’t worry,” Hope assured him. “We will get to see eachother again. Right now there are just other people who are waiting for you. You have so many people who love you. Now come on, you have a train to catch.” Hope placed a hand on his arm and guided him to the train entrance. They hugged one last time before Remus got on. He told her that he loved her, and she said it back. Revelled in being able to say it to a physical form of her, and not just a memory.

The train started moving as soon as he stepped foot in it. The compartment was empty. He looked at one of the windows and for a moment did not recognize his own reflection. It was obviously him, but he looked younger.. The grey streaks in his hair were gone, his premature wrinkles smoothed out. His scars were still there, but Remus didn’t find himself as disappointed by that as he figured he should have been. He supposed it was because as much as he resented them, not having his scars would be like missing a limb. He began making his way through all the compartments, taking note of how his joints didn’t pop when he moved. There was no dull pain with each stride born from monthly bouts of breaking and the reforming of bones. 

His feet knew exactly where to carry him, he barely had to think about it. He reached the same compartment he had used for the seven years. Sure enough, there they were when he opened the door. They had their heads pressed together, whispering to each other in their own little world, the same way it had always been. 

Both of them looked up at the same time, but it was Lily who came over to him first. She practically jumped into his arms, and wrapped her own around his neck. Soon Remus had a face full of red hair, and it tickled his nose, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Because it was Lily. She could do whatever she wanted. All that mattered was that she was here. 

Something knocked into both of them, and it nearly made Remus lose his balance. Then there was another pair of arms around him and a laugh that Remus had nearly forgotten and was so relieved to hear. Never in a million years did he think that he would get to hear James Potter laugh again. 

“Moony!” James exclaimed, before moving away, but kept an outstretched hand on his shoulder. “Hold on let me get a look at you.” Remus took the opportunity to take James in as well . He looked the same as he had before he died. Same deep tan complexion with it’s subtle warm undertones, unruly hair, and almost comically thick glasses. _The blind bastard_ , Remus thought affectionately. 

Lily’s body shook in his arms, and Remus realized that she was crying. “Alright there Evans?” Remus asked, and Lily nodded her head against his chest, and then released him and wiped her eyes. 

“I’m sorry I’ve done this every time,” Lily apologized as she composed herself. 

“Everytime?” Remus asked.

“Everytime someone new comes,” Lily explained, and then offered him her hand. “Come on. Let’s chat, yeah?” He let himself be led to the table, where he took his seat across from James and Lily. They all just stared at each other for what felt like ages. There was no rush, Remus realized. Looking at them, he knew that he had not lost an ounce of love for either of them after all these years. 

“So,” James started what was likely to be a long conversation. “Thoughts? Questions? Theatrical declarations of how every day without me has been complete and utter agony?” The last part earned him an elbow in the ribs and an eye roll from Lily. Remus just laughed, because of course Remus had missed his best friend. Every single day. 

“I really don’t know what to say. Where I want to start,” Remus racked his brain for something, anything to ask them, and in the end all he could manage was: “What the hell is going on?”

Lily and James exchanged a sort of perplexed look. “Do you not remember the resurrection stone?” Remus shook his head.  
  
“Well then I guess we should start off with the fact that you’re dead,” James began by stating the obvious.

“Yes I gathered that much,” Remus said. He remembered fighting at Hogwarts alongside the other Order members. He was not sure how he had allowed himself to get so overwhelmed in a battle with Dolohov. He had been the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for Merlin’s sake, and Dolohov was just the adult version of the foul kid he had shot hexes at in his youth. Perhaps it had been that nearly a lifetime of fighting had finally beaten him down; because when Dolohov finally cast the killing curse, there had been nothing that Remus could do to stop it. He wasn’t even sure if…

“Harry!” Remus blurted out, as it suddenly dawned on him what his death meant. “The battle wasn’t done. I don’t know if he’s…”

Lily put her finger to her mouth to shush him. “Harry is fine Remus. They won. It is okay.”

“The battle ended a day ago. You have been dead longer than you’ve been here,” James added. 

“Why?” Remus asked. 

“Oh you know, bureaucratic nonsense of the afterlife,” James said with a wave of his hand. 

“Really?” Remus raised an eyebrow. 

“No idea,” James admitted. “Everyone shows up in their own time. Has a lot to do with whether or not you were at peace in the end. Think of it like your soul trying to reconcile with itself.”

“According to Monty and Effie it took us both months. I popped up a bit before James did,” Lily said. 

“I assume it was because I felt guilty that I hadn’t been able to protect Lily and Harry in the end,” James elaborated. Remus searched his friend’s face for any sign of regret, but there was none. They had both had years to come to terms with what had happened. 

“Of course, none of us know for certain why anything happens here,” Lily told him. “We can only guess.”

“That’s right. There are no Albus Dumbledore’s of the afterlife to spout self-serving gibberish at us ,” James sneered. “No omnipotent being to tell us which way is up, or how high to jump.”

Remus grunted, “Thank Merlin for that.” The couple across from him just nodded in agreement. The mention of Dumbledore did bring another question to his mind though. “So, what are the rules here? Is this supposed to be like, where all of the good people go?” It had to be, Remus thought. He was not entirely sure he would deserve to be in a place like that. But if James and Lily were there it surely had to be. 

“No. Not exactly Remus,” Lily said, her eyebrows furrowing the same way they did when they used to study Arithmancy together. “Everybody ends up here. But not everyone gets to be happy here, it’s all very complicated; yet also quite simple in a way? But basically your happiness is determined by how you lived on Earth. More specifically how you loved, and how you were loved in return.”

“It’s about who you have waiting for you,” James said, and it reminded Remus of what his mother had said before he had gotten on the train: _there are just other people who are waiting for you. You have so many people who love you._ “If you were a good person, if you were _loved_ , then you’re fine. You get to spend the rest of eternity happy.”

“And if you weren’t good, or if nobody loved you-” Remus pressed. 

“Then you spend eternity alone,” Lily said, her voice low. “There’s no torture, at least not in the physical sort. We really didn’t know much about how that end of the stick worked. Not until, until well…” Lily trailed off and it was obvious she was having a hard time getting herself to say the words. Remus turned his attention to James, hoping he’d be able to fill him in. 

“When Peter came-” James began, and Remus’ heart sank. “We greeted him when he got there. We needed closure. Part of me had hoped that he had an explanation, that there was something he could say that would make it all make sense.” Sometimes Remus forgot that out of all the Marauders, James and Peter had known each other the longest. It had been the both of them that had taken a chance on Remus and Sirius on the train that first year. James’ oldest friend had betrayed him in the worst possible way, but of course he had clung onto a small shred of hope that there could be some sort of reconciliation. 

“And? Did he? Have an explanation, I mean?” Remus was curious himself. Ever since he had found out that Peter had in fact been the traitor, he had always wondered why. How he could have possibly had it in him to do that to them. After everything had gone through together. He couldn’t picture the boy that had spent an entire summer learning to be an Animagus to help his friend who was a poor half-blood werewolf, to also be a Deatheater. He’d had the same questions about Sirius, although it had admittedly hurt him more. Remus had always suspected that perhaps Peter had felt left out, abandoned by the rest of the group. Yet Remus couldn’t imagine a world in which petty jealousy would lead to pure-blood supremacy. 

“Not one that mattered,” James muttered, crossing his arms and then turning to look out the window. Remus did the same, and he noticed for the first time that he did not recognize the scenery, or at least he did not think he did. It was just trees and sprawling fields. However at the moment, it did not seem important to ask about their whereabouts. 

“Maybe on some level we could have forgiven him if we had been the only ones he hurt,” Lily admitted, leaning into her husband. “But after what he did to Harry. Nothing he could say would ever be enough. Not that he even seemed that sorry. He seemed more scared, like he knew he had made the wrong choice.”

“He will be ok though,” James said looking up once again. “He has his mum, he won’t be totally alone. But he will not be nearly as happy as he could have been.” That was reasonable, Remus thought. That made sense. Peter would truly be forced to live with the consequences of his actions. 

“Same with Severus,” Lily mentioned, and Remus had actually forgotten that he was also dead. “I needed to talk to him, needed answers.. But in the end it did not matter.” Nobody really knew what to say about that. This meant that Snape would most likely be completely alone. He hadn’t had much of a family, and Lily, the only person who could have possibly loved him, had rightfully rejected him. Maybe when Harry came things would be different. Not that Snape deserved it. 

“And before you ask, Voldemort is not here, and he’s not coming. You give up the right to be when you’re a noseless bastard that cheats death,” James told him, and Remus did not need any further explanation. “Bellatrix is though, but nobody even greeted her. She’ll be alone forever. Didn’t even love that husband of hers, and he certainly did not love her. And nobody has seen Dumbledore, and I say good riddance. Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s fine. Never loved anyone but himself anyways.”

Remus was suddenly very aware of what was missing from this scene. It had been lingering in the back of his mind since he’d gotten there, but he had not dared bring it up in fear of what the answer might be. But given all the rules that they had both laid out in front of him, it made no sense for him to not be here with them. So where was he? 

“Sirius,” Remus finally asked. “Where is he? Is he…” Maybe it was different for some reason. Since Sirius fell through the Veil.

“Oh Remus sorry we should have told you sooner. He’s fine, just at the next stop,” Lily promised. 

“Yeah you know him, he’s just a dramatic git,” James joked. “Has to keep you waiting.”

“James!” Lily scolded. “He just wanted the two of you to be alone when you saw each other again for the first time.” James wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at that, and Lily shot him a glare. Some things never changed. 

“And we called dibs on seeing you first, after your mother of course,” James said. “And besides he just saw you. All of us have been waiting ages.”

“All of you?” Remus asked, but he didn’t have to wait long for his question to be answered. The door to the compartment swung open. A tall woman with long cuffed box braids entered, eagerly pulling an equally tall blonde with her. 

“Oi Lupin!” Dorcas Meadowes beamed at him. “What kind of dueling was that?”

“Lasted longer than you didn’t I Meadowes?” Remus grinned, surprising himself at how easy it was to fall back into their old routine where they would try and one up each other when it came to DADA. She had always been better than him. He would have never admitted it, but it didn’t matter because Dorcas had never needed his validation. 

“I died in a battle against Voldemort. The literal Dark Lord himself,” Dorcas countered. “You lost to bloody _Dolohov_.”

“Dolohov is an extremely competent wizard!” Remus said, trying in vain to defend himself. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say,” Dorcas said. “Now shove over so I can give you a hug won’t you?” Remus quickly obliged, moving closer to the window, and Dorcas plopped down next to him and brought him in for a hug. It was strange to suddenly have so many people that he could hug. He looked over Dorcas’ shoulder at Marlene Mckinnon, who was watching their reunion with clear amusement. 

“Sorry for intruding, we were going to give you more time,” Marlene said. “We didn’t want to overwhelm you with so many people at once. And well we heard you talking, and you know how much Dorcas likes to make an entrance.” Dorcas scoffed, faking offense. She clapped Remus on the back, before pulling away. Marlene leaned over her partner to squeeze Remus’ shoulder. She kissed Dorcas’ temple, and Dorcas scooted closer to Remus so Marlene could sit down; she ended up half on Dorcas’ lap with Dorcas’ arms wrapped around her waist, and Dorcas’ chin on her shoulder. The scene made Remus smile, coupled with the fact that Lily and James were holding hands under the table. They were all still so in love, and it made him anxious to see Sirius again. 

They all spent time talking after that. Remus started to tell Lily and James stories about Harry, but they seemed to already know most of them. Apparently the dead were able to watch the living, they just couldn’t interfere. James raved about his quidditch skills, while Lily swore to hex Petunia into another celestial plane when she got here.

“He should have never gone to them,” Lily huffed. “Dumbledore knew what he was doing when he put Sirius away without a trial.” Remus was glad that they were all on the same page about Dumbledore. Marauders & Co were now a strictly anti-Albus group, as James had humorously put it. They had all been so brainwashed as kids, groomed to believe that they were so special that the war couldn’t be won without them. _They were kids._ Not to mention that it couldn’t have been a coincidence that he’d needed the Invisibility Cloak the night before their murder, or that Sirius got put away in Azkaban without a trial. 

Sirius. Now that Remus had let himself think about him he couldn’t stop. All he could picture was Sirius here, happy. Sirius playing gobstones with Marlene. Sirius getting his nails painted by Dorcas. Sirius gardening with Lily. Sirius flying around on broomsticks with James. Sirius. Happy. His two favorite words to see together. The part of his heart that had been hardened and cold since Sirius’ death; was now flooded with warmth knowing that he had finally been at peace.

It was a while later, when the five of them were deep in conversation when the train finally stopped. Remus looked at Lily for confirmation, and she smiled at him. 

“This is your stop Rem,” She said. “Go get your man lover boy.”

Remus looked at each of his once long lost friends. His brain was still struggling to rationalize how this was all possible. He was terrified of getting off the train. Of getting to see Sirius, only to find out that none of this was real. That he wasn’t actually dead. He was unconscious somewhere. Or he’d been cursed and this was some sort of elaborate hallucination. 

Lily seemed to sense his hesitance, and reached across the table to place a pale freckled hand over Remus’ scarred one. “Don’t overthink this. It’ll drive you mad. Not everything is going to make sense. It’s so much easier, if you just let yourself be happy. It is what you are here to do. You deserve it Remus. I promise.” 

That settled it. You couldn’t imagine a classic Lily Evans pep talk.

Marlene and Dorcas got up so that Remus could get through, each of them saying their goodbyes to him. He must have seemed a bit panicked, because they were quick to reassure him that it was not a permanent goodbye. Some of this was going to take some getting used to. He and James clasped arms, and Remus gave Lily a kiss on the cheek.

Remus had certainly done a lot of courageous things in his life. But never had he done anything more so than stepping off that train and into the unknown. 

***

He noticed the birdhouse first. Sirius probably knew he would. It was small, handmade. There was a bird feeder hanging off the bottom of it. Remus let his hand run across the sanded wood and smiled at the memory.

_“A birdhouse? Really Pads?” Remus had chuckled. He was standing by the window in their dorm room, a cigarette between his fingers trying to aim smoke through a crack._

_“Yes, Remus. A birdhouse. It’s the only thing on my list,” Sirius had said very matter of factly from where he was draped across the bed- Remus’ bed._

_“You’re mental,” Remus said. “I asked what you would want in your dream home-”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“And all I want is a birdhouse Moony!” Sirius interrupted. “I’ve already had all the fancy stuff before. But could you ever imagine my parents with a birdhouse? My mother would probably kill the birds and grind their bones down for fun just because they were singing a cheerful little tune.” Remus stubbed out his cigarette and looked across the room at Sirius; who caught his eye and smiled before making grabby hands at him. Remus wasn’t sure if this was his spoilt arse’s way of saying that he wanted him or a fag, but he relented by providing him both._

_When he got close enough, Sirius snatched the matchbox from his hand. He moved over so that Remus could lay with his back to the headboard. Sirius positioned himself in the space between Remus’ legs, with his back against his chest. Remus pressed a kiss to Sirius’ hair as he magically lit a cigarette. Prongs and his stupid Head Boy persona would ream them out later for smoking in the dorm, and Remus was a bit concerned that Sirius would burn a hole in the duvet. But Remus was enjoying the domesticity of planning their life so much that he put it out of his mind._

_“Just the birdhouse then?” Remus whispered against his head._

_Sirius glanced up at Remus for a second before looking down again. “You too. S’all I need.”_

They never had gotten a birdhouse. After Hogwarts they had gotten a Muggle flat in Hammersmith. A small loft space, so there had been no place or any need for one. But Sirius had said that it didn’t matter because he still had the most important half of his wishlist. _Besides_ he’d said, _There’s always later._ Despite all his extravagance, Sirius had never really needed a lot to be happy. Just all of his friends together. And a bloody birdhouse. And he hadn’t even gotten any of it. 

Maybe this could be later. 

The train had dropped him in front of a two story yellow thatched cottage. It was larger than any of the cottages Remus had ever had, and he had moved around a lot, especially after Sirius had been sent to Azkaban. Regardless it would still be considered small, which Remus liked. A winding path surrounded by shrubbery led to the front door. Remus laughed when he saw the doormat that instructed guests to “wipe your paws”and he felt some of the nervousness leave his body just because that was something Sirius would absolutely do. 

Remus considered knocking on the door, as he wasn’t quite sure what the situation called for. He didn’t want to take Sirius off guard, but Lily had made it seem like he was waiting for him. He tried the door handle, and sure enough, it was unlocked. 

He ambled through the narrow hallway that served as the entrance way. There were photos on the walls, but Remus didn’t take the time to stop and look at them. He was instead drawn to the sound of music playing somewhere in the house. 

He found him in a sitting room. Remus had pictured him pacing the floor, or even waiting at the door. Instead he was sitting in a small nook in the corner on a couch that looked like it was built into a wall that was mostly entirely bookshelves. They were full of books and records and there wasn’t an empty space to be seen. There was a record player on one of the top shelves, the beginning of _Picture This_ by Blondie filling the space. 

Sirius was sitting with his legs pulled into his chest, balancing a book above his knees. Remus could feel his breath catch in his throat at the sight. Looking at Sirius in this element felt so natural. 

Sirius looked up at him from over his book and smiled. Remus’ heart could have leapt out of his chest. He dog eared the page he was on (a filthy habit) and set the book down. Never breaking eye contact.

“You going to make fun of me for listening to Blondie?” He asked. 

“No,” Remus grinned. “I always rather liked them. Was just too embarrassed to tell you.”

“Me too,” Sirius said. They just stared at each other. Debbie Harry was singing now, her soft mezzo soprano cutting the silence. 

_All I want is a room with a view. A sight worth seeing, a vision of you._

Sirius also looked younger. Healthier too. He’d filled out again, something he hadn’t quite been able to do when he escaped Azkaban, he was all lean muscle now. The sallow color that had overtaken his once bright complexion was gone. His hair restored to its original silky black vibrance. 

“Well,” Sirius shifted a bit and patted the spot next to him. “Come here.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. In fact he had to resist the urge to run to him, even though he was only a few steps away. Remus sat down, and Sirius immediately melted into him. It was an immense relief. 

Remus wrapped an arm around him, and clung to him. He wanted him as close as possible, and Sirius didn’t seem to mind. He stroked his arm and let Sirius bury his head in his chest. A few minutes later he felt Sirius start to cry. All illusions of cool composure dissipating. Remus kissed his cheek because it was all he could think to do.

“Are you sad?”

“Not with you,” He replied. “Never with you, Moony.”  
  
“Say it again,” Remus requested. 

“Say what?”

“My name,” He said. He was desperate for it. To hear it come from Sirius’ lips. Sirius tilted his head up, their lips were nearly touching now.

“Moony,” It was barely a whisper. Then Sirius kissed him. Firm and chaste. He kissed him again and again, punctuating each with the names they had called each other throughout all their years together. 

_Moony. Remus. Rem. Baby. Darling. Love._

***

They did not talk a lot after that. Being together was more than enough. Eventually Sirius got up and made them some tea. It was some of the fancy kind he liked to make. This time there was a hint of apricot to it. Remus had missed the way this man made tea. They carried their mugs as Sirius showed him around the cottage. 

Besides the sitting room, there was also a small kitchen and dining area, and a bathroom on the first floor. There were two small bedrooms on the second. One looked much more lived in than the other. They went back to look at the photos on the wall. There were several of Remus and Sirius. Some of Lily and James. More of all four of them together. A few with Dorcas, Marlene, Mary, and Emmeline. There were ones of Harry. So many of Harry. 

His favorite part was the backyard. There was a porch swing, and a garden. The valley seemed to stretch forever, save for what looked like a small patch of woods.

The sun started to set so they headed inside. They took their tea to the dining area and sat at the table. There was more silence. Lots of staring blankly at their mugs, or out the window as they sky went from a faded pink to ink black with gold speckled across. The moon, nearly full, stood out to him as always. It looked close, like if he walked far enough he’d be able to touch it. 

“I’m sorry you died,” Sirius said finally. It was the first time anyone had said anything about it. The others had been gone for so long, he was sure they had forgotten what it was like to be alive. For Sirius it was still fresh.

“It’s okay I suppose,” Remus said, and it was not a lie. “Being here, almost makes you wonder what the point of living is.”

Sirius frowned, “Life is where we find the people we love. Also there’s a draw to unpredictability of it. The validation of working hard to build your life. There are things you get to experience while being alive that you don’t get here. Given the chance, I would have lived.”

“Right, sorry,” Remus said. “And I’m sorry I didn’t save you.”

“It was never your job to save me.”

“I know, but I could have tried harder,” Remus argued. 

“What were you going to do Remus?” Sirius asked. “Follow me through the veil?”

“Wouldn’t have been the worst thing.”

“Stop that,” Sirius told him. “Harry needed you. He needed _somebody_.”

Remus didn’t want one of the first things they did together be to fight. And he knew Sirius was right. And he felt the same way, he was just stubborn. 

“You’re right,” He relented. They’d always been good at fighting. Never great at apologizing. He wanted things to be different. 

“I’m sorry for snapping,” Sirius said, tapping his finger against his mug. “I know things were hard for you. But I am glad you got a little more time.”

Remus felt a rush of love for the man in front of him. His love for him ran so deep that Remus thought he might drown in it, and if that was his fate Remus would resign himself to it. He was so kind, so unbelievably kind, and sometimes it saddened Remus to know how few people knew this about him. How few people knew Sirius Black in general. Maybe it was selfish, but Remus loved being one of the only people who knew Sirius so intimately. Being good enough for Sirius Black. Being wanted by Sirius Black. Being chosen by Sirius Black. Belonging to Sirius Black. The resurgence of all those simultaneous emotions was too much, and he crossed the table and knelt down in front of him. He pulled his head down for a kiss. What was meant to be gentle became hurried and desperate, simply because that is what they were used to. They had always needed to take what they could get, and take it quickly lest they miss the opportunity. 

“We should go to bed,” Sirius said against his lips before things progressed further than snogging. 

“Are you trying to seduce me Black?” Remus asked.

“No, none of that tonight,” Sirius said with a playful swat to Remus’ shoulder. “It’s just been stressful for you, and I think you should sleep.”

“Do we even have to sleep here?” The idea of sleeping when you were dead seemed a little counterproductive.

“No, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do here,” Sirius answered. “But I think it’d be good for you to do something normal.” 

He hummed as he contemplated the statement, and then placed one more peck on Sirius’ lips and then followed it with one on his jaw. “Ok,” He agreed. “But if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were tired of me already.”

“Impossible,” Sirius made a move to stand up, but Remus grabbed his hand to stop him.

“You mean it? You’re not going to get tired of me?” He couldn’t bring himself to look Sirius in the eye when he asked. Remus had never really been shy. Quiet, yes, but never shy. Speaking about this new fear made him feel incredibly vulnerable though, and he couldn’t bring himself to risk seeing judgement in Sirius’ eyes. “Forever is a very long time.”

Sirius let go of Remus’ hands, and he felt his fingers move to his hair where they started to stroke through his hair. “I really never saw us having more than a short time together truthfully. I thought, maybe we’d die in the first war. Especially after all of our friends started dying. And then I was fairly certain we wouldn’t be lucky enough to make it through the second.” Remus was still staring at the ground, and Sirius made no move to make him look at him. “So this isn’t going to be anything like what I pictured for us. But no, Moony, I won’t get tired of you I promise. Before I could see exactly how our relationship mapped out, and it was never a happy ending. Now I have no idea what's in store for us, and I’m very much looking forward to finding out with you.”

Finally, he looked up. “You’re a sap, you know that?” 

“I’m sorry I can’t help it. Everything I say deserves to be novelized and preserved for the masses to revere,” Sirius said. 

“Arse,” Remus laughed. 

“Yes,” Sirius stood up, pulling Remus with him. “Now can we please go to bed so I can wake up next to you.”

“Ah I see so this was an entirely selfish endeavor,” Remus teased, allowing himself to be dragged up the stairs. “And here I thought you cared about me.”

Sirius turned and flashed him a wide smile. When they got to the bedroom Sirius immediately stripped himself of his shirt and trousers. The bed was covered with just a top sheet and grey patchwork quilt, as they both tended to run hot during the night. Sirius got into the bed on the same side he had always taken, and motioned for Remus to join him. Remus took off his shirt, and was a bit taken aback when Sirius audibly gasped and sprang out of bed. 

“What’s wrong?” Remus said, rather concerned by his change in demeanor. 

“Moony…” Sirius murmured. “Look.” Sirius spun him around so that he was facing the mirror of the bureau. It took him a minute to realize what Sirius had noticed. Which wasn’t surprising, seeing as Remus sometimes thought that Sirius had known his body better than he did. Knew every freckle, mole, and scar. Could trace them with his eyes closed, and had done so many times. His scars were still there. He had established that. The largest one however, and the ugliest by far, was missing. It was the one that he got from when he was bitten. It usually stood out, a deep red jagged shape on his shoulder. Maybe, he wondered, if he stared at the area long enough it would reappear. It didn’t. 

He turned to face Sirius, who dropped three delicate kisses to his shoulder. “Do you think this means…” Remus started to ask but hesitated, he didn’t dare wish it to be true. 

“I was already pretty sure...but yes,” Sirius said. “No more transformations. Nothing hurts here. There’s no pain.”

Something in him broke, and it released a surge of joy that he had not had since he was a boy that didn’t have to worry about full moons and furry little problems. He had thought the feeling would always be absent, and he had accepted that, he had mourned its loss. Now it was back, and Remus wept. He cried for the first time since he had died, because he had not realized how miserable he had been when he was alive until he’d had this burden lifted. 

Sirius’ arms were around him immediately, holding him together in the loveliest way. He sobbed and let himself be comforted by the feeling of Sirius enveloping him; remembering the agony of the last time he had cried this hard and had not had Sirius there.

Sirius let go briefly to help him finish undressing. This made him feel like a child, but he was in such a state that he didn’t complain. They were hugging again, and Sirius led them to the bed, they didn’t even detach to fall into it and crawl under the covers. Sirius held him until he had composed himself. When his crying subsided, Sirius brought their lips together and they just kissed for some time.

It wasn’t until later in the night, with Sirius’ head on his chest, and Remus rubbing his knuckles down his lover’s spine, that they finally spoke again. 

“I can remember Azkaban too now. Without it hurting,” Sirius admitted. “Also my childhood. It’s not like a numb kind of feeling though. I can just look back at it and feel detached from it.” Remus moved so he was on his side, and Sirius aligned himself so that he was tucked beneath his chin. 

“So no more nightmares?” Remus asked.

“No more nightmares,” Sirius affirmed.

“Ok,” Remus said, another level of fear vanishing. “Let’s sleep then. He felt Sirius nod against him.. Soon Remus drifted off, and for the first time in a while, he was looking forward to waking up. 

***

“Are you watching me sleep, pervert?” Remus said upon waking up the next morning. Their limbs were woven together, the sheet and quilt had been kicked off the bed at some point in the night. Sirius had never liked how they, especially the top sheet, would get all bunched up or crooked. On the other hand, Remus always liked to have some sort of weight on him while he slept. But as long as he had Sirius that was not really a problem, because every night he’d press against him like he was trying to prove that they were two puzzle pieces that were meant to stick together. 

“No, just forgot how much you snore you mutt,” Sirius said, but kissed the tip of his nose. It struck him for the first time that this was the most affectionate they had been since they were teenagers. At Grimmauld Place they had interacted with each other more as friends who were quite aware that they were desperately in love and had no desire to be with anyone else. There were few kisses, but countless long embraces, and late nights huddled in conversation. They were afraid to be too intimate with each other, convinced that their days were numbered; and that completely rekindling their romance would just make their separation harder.

“You were always great at pillow talk weren’t you?” Remus snorted. 

“I’m great at a lot of things,” He said it close to his ear, kissing the area beneath his earlobe and moving down his neck. 

“Want to provide examples?” Remus asked, and tilted his head to try and meet Sirius’ lips, but Sirius dodged him. 

“Yes, breakfast,” He slapped Remus’ thigh. “I’ve become pretty good at doing it the Muggle way.”  
  
“You absolute bloody tease,” Remus groaned pushing him away. 

“Oh you’ll be less grumpy when you’ve had some food in you,” Sirius said getting up. He walked over to the dresser and grabbed a shirt.

“Sirius, we don’t even have to eat here do we?” Remus interrogated him. 

“Moony,” Sirius drew out the name in feigned exasperation as he tugged the shirt on. He seemed to be forgoing trousers for the time being. “Let me show off please.”

Remus grabbed Sirius’ pillow and flung it at him, and it hit him in the arm. Sirius’ lip bent into a pout. “Oh get out of here,” Remus said pointing at the door.

“There are clothes for you in the third and fourth drawer,” Sirius said. “Food will be ready in twenty minutes!” Sirius walked out, and Remus waited until he heard the sound of footfall and creaking stairs before he got out of bed. He gave himself a moment to look at himself in the mirror once again. It occurred for the first time that maybe he did not look younger, just how he should have looked for the age in the first place. Same with Sirius. It made him wonder what life would have been like for them if it hadn’t been filled with so much stress and trauma. 

The drawers were full of jumpers and sensible trousers. Some of the jumpers he recognized, they looked like ones he’d had when he was alive. Others were new, but he rather liked them. He picked a green one from the top of the stack, and put it and a brown pair of pants on. He also took the time to pick up their discarded clothes from the previous night to drop in the hamper. While doing so, he didn’t miss the worn sweaters (one’s that had definitely been meant for Remus) were already in there. He decided to file that away in case he needed something to make fun of Sirius for later. 

When Remus got down to the kitchen, there was a Blue Öyster Cult record playing. The back door and all of the windows had been thrown open. There was a mug of tea waiting for him on the counter, and a plate that had already been made up with eggs and toast (his preferred spreads on it as well). He picked up his breakfast and walked out to the back where Sirius was sitting on the porch swing; or more accurately he was feverishly swinging himself back and forth like he was trying to see how high he could go.

“And here I thought having a porch swing would be relaxing” Remus shook his head. He put his hand on the arm of the swing to steady it so that he could get on. Once he did, Sirius started using his feet to rock it again, but this time he did it slowly. Sirius grinned at him, and Remus watched him bring a cigarette to his upturned lips. “Really?”

“What? ‘S not like it’s going to kill me Moony,” Sirius quipped. “I don’t have to but it still feels nice, so I’ll do it every once in a while. Besides it’s your fault I got hooked on them in the first place. Bloody peer pressure and all that.”

“Peer pressure?” Remus scoffed, “Pads you and James stole them from my chest fifth year and-”

“-and Prongs neary coughed up a lung, it was hilarious,” Sirius said. “That was still your fault by the way. I only started because of how cool I thought you looked when you did it. Thought I just really wanted to be like you. Turns out I wanted other things…”

Remus blushed, which made Sirius look very proud of himself. He brought his mug up to his face to hide the new color, muttering “prat” as he sipped his tea. Sirius stubbed out his cigarette in his own empty mug before moving closer to Remus so that their thighs were touching.

“Have you tried the food yet?” Sirius asked.

“No I’m a bit scared to,” Remus admitted, remembering all the times Sirius tried to cook when they lived together after Hogwarts. At the time, Remus had been fairly certain that if the war didn’t kill them, then Sirius’ cooking definitely would. 

“Come on, I promise you it’s edible,” Sirius said, motioning to his own plate. “See, I ate all of it.”

“Yes, well, you’re a dog and they’ll eat anything,” Remus teased, which made Sirius frown. “Oh I’m sorry, love. Look, I’ll eat it.” He shoveled the eggs on to his fork, and brought them to his mouth as Sirius watched him expectantly. 

“Well?” Sirius pressed. 

Remus swallowed, “They taste like eggs.”

Sirius beamed. “Now try the toast.”

Remus did, amused as always at how excited Sirius could get by mundane things that other people would find boring. 

“It’s not burnt!” Sirius said, and it released a soft fit of laughter from Remus. He brought a hand to the back of Sirius’ head to pull him in for a quick kiss. He was so unbelievably grateful to be with Sirius Black. To get to see him light up as learned to do things like make eggs and toast for the first time. 

They fell into easy conversation as Remus ate, with Sirius doing most of the talking, as he explained how things worked here. There was no magic, or at least not the kind that they were used to. All you had to do was will for something and it’d appear. Sirius compared it to just one big Room of Requirement. People did not do it too often though. It would make things boring. 

“It is how I made the cottage though,” Sirius said. He was holding Remus’ hand and nervously playing with his fingers. “We can always change it if you don’t like it. I figured you wouldn’t want anything too big, but maybe you would like a library?”

Having a life with Sirius, one that included a birdhouse and a porch swing, seemed absurd. It was a daydream, and not something that he had ever expected them to get. Yet here, they could live thousands of different lives together if they wanted. One day, they could wake up and decide they wanted to move to a beach house, or to a tent in the woods. For now, he really liked the idea of getting to live a life that Sirius had quite literally built for them. The same one that they had spoken about late at night when either war was darkening their soul and they had sought solace in each other to keep it from destroying them completely. 

“I love it Sirius, really,” Remus told him. 

“Good,” Sirius said. “While we’re on the subject, there is a full moon in a few days. I was wondering if you would like to do something special.”

“Did you have something in mind?” Remus asked, a bit confused.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe it would be nice to have everyone over,” Sirius explained. 

“Maybe a little party would be a nice change from what you’re used to.” Now he understood. Sirius wanted him to spend his first full moon here doing the opposite of what he would have done when he was alive. He wanted him surrounded by people he loved and happy; instead of being alone and in agony. 

“That sounds nice,” Remus said, and opened his arms to Sirius as an invitation. “I suppose you have a plan?”

Sirius moved so that he was cuddled up against Remus, legs outstretched. Remus wrapped an arm around his front and Sirius kissed his wrist. “We have to invite everyone from The Order,” Sirius started. “Caradoc is on thin fucking ice though. Always fancied you, and if I see any funny business I will make him die a second time. Effie and Monty too, they are so excited to see you Remus! Also your parents of course.”

“You spend a lot of time obsessing over Caradoc even though I had to deal with every girl, and quite a few blokes, wanting to get in your pants,” Remus said. 

“Oh, Moony. You know my type is exclusively tall broody werewolves,” Sirius said patting his arm. “Oh, also. I wanted to invite Regulus. If that’s okay.”

Remus put two fingers on Sirius’ chin, and turned his head to look at him. “Regulus?” He asked. He hadn’t heard Sirius speak about his brother in a long time. Even after he died Sirius would barely acknowledge him, and Remus could only remember him mentioning him, to Harry, once after Azkaban. What happened to Regulus, had always haunted Sirius. He blamed himself. Blamed himself for not taking Regulus with him, blamed himself for Regulus becoming a Death Eater, blamed himself for Regulus’ death. One night, Remus had found him staring at the tapestry, staring at his brother’s name next to the scorch mark that used to be his own. They didn’t talk about it, Remus had just taken his hand and led him to bed. 

“So you two have talked?” Remus asked.

“He did the right thing in the end,” Sirius said. “He died trying to destroy one of the Horcruxes.”

Remus hugged Sirius tighter. “Well then of course he can come. Tell me more about what you want to do.”

“Well the cottage is a bit small for all those people, so I was thinking we could do it outside. At the end of the night we could lay down blankets and look at the sky maybe, if that’s alright with you.”

“I think I’d like that,” Remus said. He glanced across the yard, trying to picture how they could set it all up. Surely they could just have some tables and chairs and set them up. They could probably drag the record player outside too, if anything was possible here, they could make it so they wouldn’t have to plug it in. Maybe they could even use the shed to-

And that’s when Remus saw it. Leaning propped up against the wall of the shed, black and red. He wasn’t sure how he’d missed it in the first place.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me,” Remus sighed, sitting up, and Sirius scrambled to sit up. Sirius followed his gaze to the shed, realizing that his eyes had landed on the motorcycle. 

“What? How do you expect me to live in paradise without the love of my life?” Sirius said. “Nothing can separate Ziggy and I.”

“Wow. I think I’m jealous of a motorcycle,” Remus laughed. 

“Moony we just went over this. Tall broody werewolves,” Sirius said, and hopped off the swing. “Wanna go for a ride?”

“Absolutely not,” Remus threw his hands up. 

“Please! Come on, even Evans has ridden it now,” Sirius pleaded. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

“Pads I was too scared to ride a broom,” Remus reminded him. 

“You can’t even die if you fall off though,” Sirius said. “It doesn’t even hurt when you hit the ground.”

“Is this your way of telling me that you’ve jumped off your flying motorcycle?” Remus asked. 

“Of course I did Remus. Sometimes I think you don’t know me at all,” Sirius said. “We can stay low to the ground, and if you’re uncomfortable we can stop, I swear.”  
  
Remus contemplated it for a moment before giving in. “Alright. As long as you put pants on first.”

Sirius whooped, and grabbed Remus’ face and pulled him in for a loud wet kiss. When he pulled away, Remus wiped his mouth with his sleeve in fake disgust. Of course, Remus would gladly take any kiss from Sirius. 

“Be back soon,” Sirius told him before running inside. Remus sat back and began to drink the rest of his tea. Remus was puzzled by how easily it was for him to adjust to this. It had been less than a day, and here he was sitting on the back porch with his partner who he never thought he would see again. Planning a party and inviting friends who had been dead for over a decade. There was a lot that would take getting used to. But for once, Remus had time. 

Sirius came back out, pants obtained. He was also sporting a leather jacket. _Godric he was handsome._ He couldn’t tell him that. Actually, why couldn’t he? It was instinct, for Remus to think of his love for Sirius as a weakness. It had always been one of the few things he had to lose, and he'd always been wary about vocalizing his affections, because that would make it too real. He had thought it would hurt more when he had to lose him. In actuality, it had hurt more to leave so many things unsaid. When was the last time that he had told Sirius, just how beautiful he thought he was.

“Sirius, um,” Remus said, ready to navigate this new territory. “You look really good.”

Sirius cocked his head, and gave him some kind of bewildered smile, but clearly not unhappy to be graced with the compliment. “Thanks, love,” Sirius said. “Ready to go?”

Remus sighed, “I guess.”

Sirius offered him his hand and Remus took it. They walked over to the motorcycle, Sirius climbing on first, with Remus following suit. He sat behind him, arms encircling Sirius’ waist. Sirius kicked the stand, and started the engine.

“Ready, love?” Sirius asked.

Remus took a deep breath. “Ready.”

***

James and Sirius had been running around for the past hour trying to put the finishing touches on the party. It took Remus back to the post quidditch match celebrations they used to have in the common room. They had always both flourished socially, and rather enjoyed being the centers of attention. James because he was so used to it, and Sirius because he had so desperately needed the validation. Remus loved getting to see Sirius and James together again. As ridiculously cliche as it sounded, the two of them really did bring out the best in each other.

The two of them had strung lights up outside, and set up a few tables in the grass. They had decided to leave all of the food inside, and would let people gather in the backyard. Lily and Remus had spent most of the day cooking. Sirius had wanted to do it, but Lily had very politely told him that there were only so many times someone could eat eggs and toast (apparently James and Lily had been over many times for breakfast).

Everyone was coming, and some people were bringing guests. They received letters back from people almost immediately, and Remus was a bit taken aback by how eager people appeared to be to see him. Most of the people who hadn’t been disgusted by him being a werewolf had died in the war. He’d rarely ever had visitors or any social interaction with people associated with the wizarding world after that Halloween. 

James had brought enough firewhiskey and butterbeer for a small town. Lily had brought some muggle drinks as well. They had ended up bringing the record player outside, making it so it was capable of playing without electricity, along with a stack of records. A _Ramones_ album was currently playing. He hadn’t been able to listen to them in a long time, it had always hurt because they were James’ favorites. Now the pain was gone, because he had James again. In fact James was probably the one to put it on. 

Monty and Effie were the first to arrive. Monty had pulled him into a bear-like hug. Remus was well aware that Monty had always been fond of him. When Remus would visit, the two would often stay up late at night talking about wizarding or muggle literature. Sirius would try to stay up with them most nights, but would eventually fall asleep. One summer night before seventh year, he had accidentally done so with his head in Remus’ lap. Remus, embarrassed, had gone to move, but Monty had laughed.

_“It’s okay,” He had said. “Effie and I weren’t going to say anything unless you boys told us. But we know, and it’s okay”_

_Remus was a bit speechless by this revelation, especially since they had thought they were being so discrete. He and Sirius had discussed telling their parents several times since they had gotten together in the middle of sixth year. The stakes had just been too high. Neither wanted to risk Sirius losing yet another family._

_“The world has a lot more problems right now than two people falling in love,” Monty told him. Remus gave him a shy smile, and Monty patted his shoulder, before going back to discussing, in hushed tones as not to wake Sirius, Dracula and everything the muggles had gotten wrong about vampire lore. Remus let himself stroke Sirius’ hair, and felt the other boy nuzzle closer to him. It was nice. To not be ashamed._

Effie kissed Remus’ cheek in greeting, telling her, as she always did, that he got more handsome every time she saw him, which Remus adamantly denied. Lily took Effie’s dish of mince pies and they all went back to the kitchen to find the other boys. 

After, people had trickled in simultaneously. All of his old friends. There were people he recognized whose name he couldn’t put to their face, but he was happy to see regardless. It seemed like he couldn’t take two steps without someone stopping him to say hello. 

“Remus Lupin!” Caradoc Dearborn bellowed once he arrived with Benjy Fenwick. Caradoc hugged him tightly, and it definitely lasted a bit too long. Remus didn’t miss the glare that Sirius was giving the other man from where he was speaking with James and Marlene on the other side of the yard. Remus was fairly certain that Caradoc hyped up his infatuation with Remus just to annoy Sirius.

“It’s good to see you mate,” Remus said as he pulled away. “Like it’s literally good to see you. Where the hell is your body?”

“Buried in the middle of a bloody forest,” Caradoc complained, throwing his head back. 

“Least there weren’t just bits of you left,” Benjy countered. Remus snickered, the two of them reminded Remus a lot of Sirius and James. They had been a couple years ahead of them at Hogwarts, and the Marauders had always secretly looked up to them. They’d also been insanely jealous when they’d heard about their plans to join The Order as soon as they’d graduated. 

They spent a good ten minutes catching up until Remus was abruptly pulled away by Dorcas. She wanted to show him that she could turn into her patronus now, an albatross. Apparently everyone could become one at will now. Even muggles if they wanted. Out of all their friends, Dorcas had been the most excited when she had learned that Peter, Sirius, and James were animagi. She had sworn up and down that once the war was over she was going to become one, and Remus was sure that she would have pulled it off if she had been given the chance. Her and Lily always had been two of the most talented wizards of their generation. 

Remus had seen Dorcas cast her patronus before in battle, and he was always rather impressed by the wingspan of the bird. Sirius noticed Dorcas’s new form, and smirked mischievously before transforming into Padfoot. With a yip, he launched himself at Dorcas who flew away from him, which only made Padfoot give chase. James seemed to catch on to what was happening, and shifted into Prongs, followed by Marlene who became an osprey and joined Dorcas in the air. Remus looked over at Lily, expecting her to participate but she just rolled her eyes. He thought about joining them, but he didn’t think he was ready to be a wolf again just yet, even if he was in control. 

Hope and Lyall Lupin walked into the backyard, Hope carrying what looked like a plate of rugelach that she set down on the table. Remus took one last look at his friends, Marlene and Dorcas were now flying circles around the heads of a very frustrated Padfoot and Prongs, and went to say hello to his parents.

“Hi cariad!” Hope said when she saw him approaching. “I brought some food. I was a bit worried that Sirius would have a very limited selection. I’ve been teaching him to cook, but I’m afraid we haven’t made it too far past the fundamentals.”

Sirius had not mentioned that it had been his mother who was teaching him to cook. Sirius had only met his parents a handful of times on the train platform when they were dropping him off or picking him up. Remus had wanted to tell them about their relationship, but he had figured they already had enough to worry about with him being a werewolf. When his mom died, he had regretted it. He thought she would never get to know that he’d fallen so irreversibly in the kind of love that could never be forgotten or destroyed. 

“Effie also brought food, I’m sure she was worried about the same thing,” Remus said. 

“Oh Effie is here?” Hope perked up. Remus hadn’t thought about the fact that his mom might feel a bit out of place around former wizards, even though now everyone was about the same in the magic regard. Effie and Hope had always gotten on rather well though, and Remus could imagine that they had spent a good amount of time together since their deaths. “I’m going to go say hello. You boys should talk!”

Hope left to go find Hope, leaving Remus alone with his father, who hadn’t stopped looking at his shoes since he had gotten there. Remus had no idea what to say. Not only had his father been dead for years, but they had rarely talked even when he was alive. There just, really wasn’t a lot to talk about the two of them.

“For what it's worth, I am very proud of you Remus,” Lyall spoke first. “For how you dealt with, well, _everything_. And all that you did for the Potter boy.” 

Remus had done what he had wished his father had done for him. Been there for him, no matter what. Not hide away when things got complicated, or Harry turned out to be a different person than he had expected. He had thought that Harry would be this perfect encapsulation of James and Lily, but he wasn’t. Harry was his own special kind of person. He wished his father had viewed him in a similar light. 

“Thanks da,” Remus said politely. “For what it’s worth, I have missed you. But I had missed you for a long time, even before either of us died.”

“I’m sorry,” Lyall said, and Remus got the feeling that he meant it. “I-I should have been better. I want to be better.”

“Well,” Remus smiled. “We have a long time to work on it, don’t we?”

“We do,” Lyall looked hopeful, his eyes darted around a bit before settling back on his son. “I should go find your mother.”

“Ok,” Remus said, and Lyall was gone almost as soon as he’d said it. That was more than Remus could have asked for or expected. It was good enough for now, but Remus thought he needed to work more on not caring about the approval of his father.

Sirius had changed back to his human form, smoking _(only every once in a while_ he had said. He probably did it all the time because he thinks it makes him look punk), as he talked to two boys. One of them, strikingly similar to Sirius, and another that looked much too young to be in a place like this; and it saddened Remus to recognize him from his short year teaching. 

Regulus looked older, which is why Remus had not immediately been able to identify him. But he had the same gray eyes that Remus had only ever seen possessed by the Black brothers. Remus wondered if people had the choice of what age they appeared here, because Lily and James also appeared to be closer to their early thirties as opposed to twenty one. Dorcas and Marlene too. His hair was long, not as long as Sirius’ though. Raven haired and pale, but not in a concerning way. Not like a ghost. No, Regulus Black was really there, in the flesh. 

Next to him, was Cedric Diggory. He had not changed since Remus had last seen him before leaving Hogwarts. Merlin, he was so young. Too young to die in a war he wasn’t even fighting. Rosy cheeks, bright eyed, it was tragic. 

“Hello, Remus,” Regulus said once Remus had joined him. Sirius reached out his arm to snake around Remus’ waist and pull him closer. “Let me just start by apologizing for the fact that you’ve been saddled with my brother for the rest of eternity.”

“Oh I think I’ll manage somehow,” Remus replied. “I will admit that he does have his perks.” Regulus laughed at the joke. Had Remus ever heard Regulus laugh at all their time at Hogwarts together?

“You know Cedric already don’t you Remus,” Regulus said motioning to Cedric.

“Yes I taught him for a bit,” Remus said, smiling at Cedric. “You were quite bright. One of my best students in your year.”

“Lot of good it did me…” Cedric muttered, and Remus frowned knowingly. This was not the same cheery boy he remembered. 

“How do you two know each other?” Remus asked, pointing to the both of them. 

“I didn’t have anyone to greet me when I died. My family is still alive, so are all my friends,” Cedric explained. “So Regulus did, said we had a lot in common.”

“Lot in common meaning we both died when we were seventeen,” Regulus interjected. “I at least had Alphard waiting for me. So I thought for now I could be like an older brother? He’s staying with me until we figure out what he wants to make of his time.”

“Hopefully I figure it out soon, because your gothic style isn’t quite for me,” Cedric joked. For an instant, Remus saw a flicker of the joyful kid he had known. He’d be okay eventually. But Remus understood now, what Sirius had meant when he’d first arrived. About there being benefits to life. There was a finality to all of this. All of Cedric’s friends would keep aging. They’d all have experiences that he would never get to share with them. He’d see them all again, but it wouldn’t be the same. 

“I saw some of Euphemia’s mince pies on the table, so we’re going to go have some,” Regulus said, folding his hands. “But we’ll talk more later.”

Once they had gone, Remus turned to Sirius. “When did Regulus have Euphemia’s mince pies?”

“Oh you know mum. Always taking in strays. She was there for him a lot in the beginning,” Sirius said. “It makes me happy to see Reg helping Cedric.”

“Everything really has come full circle, huh?” Remus pointed out.

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked. 

“You heard him, he wants to be like an older brother to Cedric,” Remus said. “Sounds like he’s trying to be like you. I mean don’t get me wrong, I think it’s mainly because he cares for the boy. But it’s also a tribute to you, and everything you did for him. “

“Oh Moony you smooth bastard,” Sirius said and kissed the corner of his mouth, and then his eyes seemed to fix on something in the distance. “Well, would you look at that.”

Remus looked at what Sirius was referring to, and saw Gideon and Fabian Prewitt fussing over Fred Weasley. 

“No…” Remus breathed. He felt the same pang of heartbreak for Fred that he had for Cedric. It was slightly different though, because he had fought beside him. He had wanted to tell him, and George, so many times to step away from the war. He could see Dumbledore doing the same things to them that he had done to him and his friends. But he hadn’t. And now Fred was here. Remus thought of the Weasleys, and how much they loved each other. He grieved for them. He grieved for Fred. He knew what it was like to lose family. 

Fred seemed to catch his eye and grinned sheepishly, in a way that was very out of character for Fred. He excused himself from his conversation with his uncles, and made his way over to Remus and Sirius. 

“Guess we both got a bit unlucky at the end,” Fred said. Remus felt himself stiffen, and Sirius laced their fingers together. 

“You fought bravely kid,” Sirius mentioned. 

“Thanks Sirius,” Fred replied. “And I’m sorry you’re here too Professor.”

Remus groaned, “Oh please don’t call me professor, Fred we have talked about this. Remus is fine.”

“Or you could just call him Moony,” James had suddenly appeared, wedging himself between Remus and Sirius, Lily close behind but opting to stand next to Fred. “We are in the market for a fourth Marauder.”

Fred’s eyes widened, like he couldn’t believe the honor. “Really?”

“Absolutely!” James said. “What you and your brother did with the fireworks in the Great Hall? Brilliant!”

“We’re very grateful for everything you and your family did for Harry. We’ll look out for you until they get here,” Lily said, reaching out to gently squeeze his arm.

Fred looked like he was about to protest, to say that he didn’t need to be looked after, but James was already running off to go stand on top one of the empty tables, bottle of firewhiskey in hand. 

“Can I have everyone’s attention, Lils and I have something we want to say,” James shouted, cupping his mouth with his hands. 

“Oh my god Lily is pregnant isn’t she?” Sirius said, and a dozen sets of eyes stared at him with disbelief. 

“Sirius...we’re dead,” Lily reminded him. 

“Yes well, you never know with you two do you,” Sirius muttered.

“Anyways,” James continued, and he had everyone’s attention, and let Lily take his hand to pull her up on the table. “We just wanted to toast, to the official end of the war. And the fact that the ones we love can finally be safe and happy.” The crowd of people raised their glasses in recognition. 

“And we know that we will see them all again when the time is right. And that our families will continue to grow as they grow theirs,” Lily added. There were cheers, and Remus included his own voice. He looked around at the people who surrounded him. Effie, Monty, Hope, Lyall, and Moody were towards the back, observing all of them intently. Marlene, Dorcas, Caradoc, and Benjy appeared to be playing some sort of drinking game that Marlene was definitely winning. Fred and Cedric seemed to have found each other, and it looked like it had raised both their spirits, Regulus and the Prewitts surrounding them. It can only get better than this, Remus realized. 

Later, they all laid on the ground on piles of blankets and pillows. They stared at the stars and the moon, and for the first time it didn’t fill him with despair. He held Sirius in his arms, listened to people chatter around him. And for the first time in his life he felt it. 

**_Peace._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I'm sure it is riddled with grammar errors, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways xx
> 
> Also here's a list of songs that I listened to while writing this. You know, for the vibe.
> 
> Picture This, Blondie  
> (Don't Fear) The Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult  
> Who Wants to Live Forever, Queen  
> You Get What You Give, New Radicals  
> Little Moth, Chloe Moriondo  
> The Witching Hour, Autoheart  
> Me and My Friends Are Lonely, Matt Maeson
> 
> And of course...Starman, David Bowie


End file.
